Thursday, March 3, 2011

Urban Online Dating Legends

We all know someone, or know someone who knows someone, or heard about someone who met their perfect partner on Match.com. That's why we all say, "Why not?;" "That's great!;" "If I were single, I would totally do that...;" "I'm being proactive in a new social environment...." And, all of these things are true; however, not all of us are as lucky as Carla on Top Chef (but we all hope).

While I do not want to demean some of the people I have met on Match....yikes... think pep-talks to myself in the bathroom; too many cocktails; too few cocktails; supremely awkward conversation; that sinking feeling of impending doom...

When you look through profiles you look for a reason to count someone out. When you decide to meet someone you look for a reason to see them again. Neither system is fool-proof.

I've gone through a number of different moods about Match. When I first started, the timing was right and I got lucky. It seemed like the possibilities were endless, but a wise friend warned me that the beginning is the brightest - boy oh boy was she right... I was naive and over confident. Beboppin' around town talking about how much fun Match is; it's how dating should be; both parties get that it's a date and want to be there, you get to try fun restaurants, do new things, meet interesting people...

When I came back to Match after a two month hiatus I returned to a very different world. I had forgotten that the algorithms that match you need feedback; when left to their own devices the prospects are bleak. It was depressing - I couldn't believe this is what the internet and Atlanta had to offer. After a few weeks prospects improved, but here I am trying to navigate the narrow line between confidence and self-doubt, optimism and pessimism, nerd and dweeb...



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